The inspiration for this grief and mourning website was my son, Darren E. Russell. He was an English teacher in China who died of blunt force trauma to the head and brain, not a traffic accident on April 14, 2005.

He always loved to travel, backpacking in over 38 countries all over the world. He went to China because he thought he could make a difference in the lives of his students there. On January lst, 2005, he wrote:

"I think life is just too short to contemplate what would or could be. It is about having an idea and getting out and following through your innermost burning desires. When the school year resumes, I will walk into the classroom with a smile and hidden tears of joy while my students will be introduced to Mr. Rabbit, who will be full of enthusiasm and optimism."

They say, losing a child is like having a leg amputated. You will never be the same person again. That is so true. The first few months, I was numb. I was feeling suicidal and couldn't see any future. But then, sitting in Temple, our Rabbi said, "I know those of you who have lost loved ones are thinking that you would like to be with them. But if you die, who will carry on their memory?" That really made me ponder my future without Darren. I did change to become another person. I took 180 hours of classes to become a grief counselor. I worked with a wonderful professor to develop a Memory Book and DVD. I got a labradoodle puppy (who looks like a huge muppet bear) to train to be a therapy dog and help others. I started this site to reach out to others going thru the same pain and disbelief.

Most importantly, I am leaving no stone unturned to get justice for Darren. I will hold his murderer accountable, make sure the U.S. Consulates follow their own job description and "provide assistance to and protect the welfare of American citizens who live abroad" and cherish my family and friends (With a homicide and sudden death, there wasn't even a chance to tell Darren how much I loved him). Nothing will ever bring my precious Darren back, but my efforts will keep his memory alive in the hearts and souls of everyone that hears his name.